Camp Blood!

Greetings! Hope everyone is enjoying the summer. When summer arrives it means getting out and enjoying the sun, perhaps go camping or something. I went camping a fortnight ago for a few days and had a really good time but couldn't help but keep thinking of that comedy classic Camp Blood. Now I've just uploaded the review of this gem to Youtube so if anyone is reading this update I'm pretty sure you'll have cast your eyes over the review. Did it make you want to go out and pitch a tent? I personally wanted to kill my brain cells with more beer but I have to say, I had fun reviewing it and pulling it to pieces because it's so bad. Just remember though people, if you go camping, you don't want to go to camp blood!
Shot past 1,000 subscribers last week which is amazing, so thank you to everyone who watches the videos. I even want to take the time to mention the dozen or so "hard core" fans who message me every few days telling me I rule and that I should review this and that. Bless their little cotton socks.
On the topic of asking for films to be reviewed, I'm happy to pretty much take a stab at anything but with some stuff I've just never heard of it and when looking into it to do research on it I just can't get my hands on the Goddamn things. I've recently kept taking a trip to pound shops to see what crap they sell on DVD but other than Camp Blood, Demonic Toys and Demons 2 they have nothing at all worth wasting a pound coin on. Saying this, my latest purchase has to be the most terrible film in existence. Yes, it's that bad, trust me. I've actually completed a review it in the past few days so that'll be uploaded for you all to see in about two weeks time. Oh, and if you have read this far and are curious as to what this dull suicide inducing movie is called then here you are: Grim Weekend.
Remember Professor Bruce? You know, that guy who pops up every now and then looking like a hobo and thinks he's a professor? No? Well, that doesn't matter too much but regardless of this fact, he'll be returning to a few Shitcase Cinema reviews in the very near future. I filmed a few little scenes with him last week and they'll be used in a couple of different videos just to make it look like he actually makes an effort to show his face! He's not lazy, he just can't be fucking bothered! Is that classed as lazy? Yeah, I believe so. So for my own amusement, as is always the case with every review I make, I've had little digs at Professor Bruce, which I'm sure he really loves deep down.
As as a little bonus treat for you handful of brave souls who have read this far, I'll let you know what the next review is going to be. You ready? Do a fake drum roll, please. Oh the tension is building!! Broken Arrow. What, you're disappointed? Piss off! It also includes an exclusive diary that I kept on Professor Bruce just for a chuckle. Added value and all that. I really do rule, don't I? I think fans of Shitcase Cinema must be the most intelligent and astute people in the world.
So, I think this is enough for now. I'm going to go set up my tent now and look to the sky for a giant floating stone head called Zardoz. Don't go to camp blood! Cheers! John.

I'm back...no, wait. June.

It's not like I even left for long from reviewing films as there was only a break of a single week without a video uploaded. I don't think anyone will have noticed either way. The subscribers total has creeped up to 901 as of today, which is amazing. Seriously, I'm not being sarcastic there! It's wonderful that people all over the world watch them because my family and friends lack the decency to support and watch them (except my brother and one single friend) so it's great that someone from, say a small island in the middle of nowhere, will watch my videos and leave nice comments. Cheers!
Plan 9 From Outer Space is the latest film to be reviewed by my humble self and I had a blast making it. It is regarded as a joke of a movie, and it's obvious to see why so I hope people enjoy the review I did. Anyone with half a brain will pick up on all the points I did.
Last week I bought a crappy DVD from a quid shop for a laugh. I certainly got a laugh out of it because it's fucking awful in both the best and worse sense. It is literally something a small group of friends have made together with a free weekend using a camcorder! This gem is called Camp Blood and will certainly be a future review indeed! I won't go on about it here though, you can hear all about it in the review when it pops up in perhaps a few weeks time.
On the other end of the scale I watched a good film this week (something I seldom do!) called Gran Torino. I'd heard good things about it and Clint Eastwood is a living (just about) legend so I picked it up on DVD. It's certainly a good touching film with a lot of messages in there but I felt slightly disappointed with the ending somewhat. It's a sad ending but it just didn't quite have the right level of satisfaction for me. However, the music at the end is one of the most tender emotional songs I have heard in my life, beautiful.
And for the two or three people who read these updates (or blogs or diary updates, etc) I'll let you know now that the next two upcoming reviews shall be: Demonic Toys and then Pet Sematary. This is a fact because they're both complete and ready to be uploaded. I have to say, I do like my Pet Semetary review a lot, one of my personal favourites I think.
So, thanks everyone, bye for now and see you in the next review!

Taking a break...

Don't worry loyal and dedicated fan, I will not be taking months or even years off. I just want a few weeks off from killing my brain cells via some truly awful films.
Pocket Ninjas and Zardoz, despite being amusing and laughable, left me drained and so a few weeks off to recharge the batteries will see me come back ready to tackle those crap movies better than before. I hope.
Must take a moment to thank every single person who sends me film requests, I'm always flattered people take the time to message me, whether it be a simple "Please review ..." or an essay length message. It's really pleasing to me. Even the arseholes who leave a few negative comments make me smile because A) They've taken the time to watch that particular video and B) They're taking even more time out on me by sending me a message. Silly bastards. It then moves on to phase C) when I smile even more as I delete their bile. Silly bastards. I think I already said that.
The time I am away will not be wasted. I shall be training as a ninja to impress master Richard Harrison, hunting down the evil Irish business man who makes Silver Shamrock Halloween masks, looking to the sky for giant floating stone heads called Zardoz and running old people over in the streets to gain 100 points ala Death Race 2000. I'm going to have fun, I'm sure.
I'll be back before you know it. You will miss me, right? Remember, if you do, you can always grab a beer and sit back and watch a few old Shitcase Cinema videos, God knows there's enough of the things floating around like giant stones heads.
Speaking of Zardoz, I keep having this uncontrollable urge to say the word Zardoz out loud, no matter where I am. Yesterday I saw a poster advertising a Wizard of Oz show, which made me laugh out loud. No longer will I be able to see the world in the same light thanks to a mental 1974 film with Sean Connery. Amazing.
Well, this is all for now. Nobody will read this any way. I have a feeling Kurt Russell will though. Maybe.

What will March bring Mr. Shitcase?

Hello. How are you? Have you been watching shitty films religiously? I sure hope so. If not, you are unworthy. Indeed!
So, what's new? Yesterday I uploaded the review of Passenger 57. I know it's not a majorly bad film but I personally felt a stock action film needed to be Shitcased. Plus, it's another film to tick off the endless list of requests I get. Speaking of said list, it's growing beyond my control and there is no way I can possibly keep up with the requests nor even get my hands on many of the films for that matter! Even if I were a supreme ninja like Richard Harrison I wouldn't be able to manage it. Damn, I am now unworthy.
Professor Bruce returned a few days ago from time travelling, so he was able to spare a little time to film some footage, so you'll seeing his face once again in the near future - aren't you a lucky bunch! I bet you can't wait and are already counting down the seconds!
Any way, I can tell you now that the next two reviews will be: Puppetmaster and then Death Warrant. I know this because I went to a fortune teller and she told me so it must be true - I had better get my arse in gear and start making them! Oh, wait, they're already done. Wow, this is amazing. I am now worthy again. Oh my Gaaaaawd!
Thanks to everyone who have been leaving nice comments on recent reviews and sending in messages to me, it's always appreciated and makes me want to buy you a beer but I think it's best if I just drink it myself, so that I am able to continue putting myself through the torture of shit films.
Cheers, John. 1st March 2010.

What's happening?

So, what is happening? Not much for Shitcase Cinema. I haven't really worked on anything in the past week, I need motivation to give me a kick up the backside and get working on a new review.
However, don't worry loyal followers of Shitcase Cinema, I have a few reviews already complete and ready to be uploaded so you won't notice a gap at all.
This weekend's upload shall be one of my personal favourite old-school horror flicks, called Horror Express. Yes, it's a little camp and dated by the standards of today but look beyond that and it's a wonderful 85 minutes of horror fun. I hope anyone watching it will enjoy my take on it.
I am trying to get myself ready to review another childhood favourite, Krull, but when I ripped the DVD the audio was 'ruined' by the audio commentary or strangely put into German language! So basically you could say it's useless but I'll try to work my way around that in the following week or so.
I'm trying to constantly think up of new ways to make Shitcase Cinema reach out to a wider audience but I keep hitting a brick wall. Had a lot of positive comments from various sources lately, which is always a great boost, so I thank those people. Thanks to people who keep on watching, fuck the rest of you.

Another year of Shitcasing!

So 2010 is under way and it means more films will be Shitcased. I just uploaded Frankenhooker earlier today, which is one of my personal favourite reviews due to a number of reasons - getting dressed up and dancing about to Elton John's Crocodile Rock was very interesting but it amused me so in it went along with the short Kurt "fucking" Russell song.
I have to say I don't know how long I will carry on with Shitcase Cinema review this year, we'll have to wait and see what happens.
For perhaps the one person who will be reading this (me?) the following reviews will be (in no particular order): Sleepstalker, American Ninja, Horror Express and possibly Puppet Master.
I'm still not sure how to honour the 2nd year of Shitcase Cinema in February so I may not do anything whatsoever. As always, we'll see.
Now I must go grab a beer and shout at my TV some more "STOP IT! STOP IT!"

Ending 2009...

2009 is coming to a close and what has Shitcase Cinema done in the past 12 months? Well, many films have gone under the knife and few have come out with any credit or a decent rating to their name. As I type this, Shitcase Cinema has a total of 418 subscribers, which compared to many people out there this is practically nothing but so what? I'm over the moon that this many people thought enough of Shitcase Cinema that they subscribe in order to see what more crap I can come out with. So a sincere thank you to you all. I do this purely to amuse myself, so the fact that I can entertain a few others along the way is a rewarding plus point.
Still to come in the remainder of 2009 are a review of Carnosaur 2 and a 9th bloopers reel - the thing with the bloopers stuff is it amuses me on some level but it frustrates me more than anything, seeing the amont of times I basically mess up my lines and become frustrated and angry. If anyone else finds these a chuckle to see then great, if not, so what.
I don't have anything ready in the can for 2010, I really don't have any ideas of what to tackle next. I have a list as long as my arm of requests from people, which I will try to honour in time but it's getting harder and harder as I'm only one guy. A film called Frankenhooker may be the first review for 2010 but we'll have to wait and see.
February 2010 will see the 2 year anniversary of Shitcase Cinema. I can't believe it'll be basically two whole years since I started reviewing shitty movies as something to kill the free time I had on my hands but it's certainly been fun. I'd like to get a few fans involved in a special video if possible. I'm not sure how or what kind of angle I'd go for with the video but it'd be nice I think. Who knows.
Everybody has different tastes but for me I think the most satisfying reviews would have to be Escape From LA, Universal Solder Return, Death Ring, Vertical Limit, Batman series and perhaps Deathrace 2000. I like a lot of the videos but don't want to name them all. There's a few I'm not really fond of and try to pretend they exist, namely Rocky 6 (because it's an awfully made review due to many problems), Labyrinth (because everyone pissed and moaned at me) and probably Golden Ninja Warrior (because although the review itself isn't bad I had to re-edit it quickly and re-upload it erasing all the topless women shots).
Thanks go to everyone who has featured in small roles in several videos and also thanks to DJ-Not-I for his couple of remixes of the theme song.
I may update this blog from time with random Shitcase related nonsense so stay tuned.
John 21st Dec 2009.