Thursday, 9 September 2010

Don't go to Sleepaway Camp!

Chances are if you're reading this then you'll have watched my most excellent review of Sleepaway Camp thus having paid a short visit there. It's bad, isn't it! However, it's hilarious for various reasons but I'm not going to talk about those points because you can just watch the review repeatedly and go ‘Oh yeah, how amusing, John really is great at doing this!’ Go on.

One thing I will mention though about Sleepaway Camp is the cop (PIG!) with the fake moustache. What's that all about? I always thought nobody would ever match the wonder that is Bennett’s moustache in Commando but this, this is mental. It looks like black paper stuck on. Maybe we could all make this a new fashion craze if we all stick on fake paper moustaches on our faces? Girls should do this too, as it’ll puzzle people even more. Brilliant.

So, what’s next in the Shitcase pipeline I hear you ask? Well, a truly awful film called With Friends Like These. It was recommended to me by a viewer so I thought ‘what the hell, it can’t be worse than recent films I’ve reviewed’. It sucks. It’s boring. It’s dire. It’s not worth your time. It’s shit. It’s been reviewed, sure, but I hate it and never want to see it again. You can see it this coming weekend if you behave.

I was thinking recently that a lot of what I review are horror movies and I don’t want to be labelled as a horror film reviewer. It just so happens that crap horror films come into the world like pennies from heaven (pennies don’t drop from the sky in reality but I sometimes feel the need to cater to the more brainless people out there).

Worked on an Evil Dead 2 review these past few days – yeah another Goddamn horror movie. I didn’t want to but I’ve had messages for a long time from people saying I should make a review. I will not, however, be taking a look at the other two Evil Dead movies. I know I said this when it came to the Carnosaur movies and probably some other stuff that I’ve forgot about but I mean it this time. Unless a giant floating stone head called Zardoz tells me otherwise.

Thanks as usual to all people who send in messages on Youtube, the Facebook group or just random psychos who recognise me in the street and chase me like those evil businessmen in suits from Halloween 3 (this is a fabrication, please understand).

Got some videos put onto a website that features films and games after the guy who runs it messaged me. I don’t really know what it’ll do but it may get one or two more people to randomly walk around shouting ‘SUSAN!’ in their everyday lives. It’s fun, I’d even call it therapeutic. If you’re mental.