Sunday, 24 February 2013

I'll tear out that serpents tongue of yours!

Greetings to our master (that's me, obviously). Are you worshipping Shitcase Cinema and Zardoz on a daily basis? I hope for your sake the answer is yes. So what’s new since the last blog update? In the last one I mentioned the five year anniversary and the special guest cameo I had lined up. Yes, it was only the king from Kingdom of Gladiators! Were you impressed? See, my connections stretch far beyond anything you can possibly imagine. Next year it’ll be Sean Connery in a red nappy with a pony tail and a moustache. Fact. My profound thanks go out to Bryan Murphy for his involvement, he’s a great guy (I have to say this otherwise he’ll tear out my serpents tongue!).

I’ve recently read quite a few comments on Youtube and Facebook from fans asking where they can get a Shitcase Cinema t-shirt like the one I sometimes wear in videos. You can buy one from our official store here. We’ve had it setup for maybe six months or so now but only sold a handful of things. One lovely lady out there purchased three items last year, so our thanks to her. You are now called SUSAN as far as I’m concerned. What an honour that is.

To keep things interesting, here’s a random photo of Bruce trying to be the king from Kingdom of Gladiators. Complete fail my friend, back to the dungeon for you! HOW DARE YOU!

Staying on the subject of Susan, the last few reviews and upcoming reviews involve female characters called Susan. I’m currently working on a review of a film called ‘Mirror Mirror’ from 1990, which has a mental case in there with the lovely name of Susan and of course the recent Blue Jean Cop review had a sexy Susan in there. Any Shitcase Cinema fan worth their salt will know the whole “SUSAN!” nonsense, but if you’re clueless than please check out the review of Grim Weekend. I’d love to meet the guy. Funnily enough I tried tracking him down to get involved in the five year anniversary special earlier this month, but to no avail.

If you saw the Jaws 3 video last week you’ll have seen Professor Bruce moaning about not getting a say in what we review so I responded and I quote “If I let you do your own solo review but I say you’ve got to do three gnarly things”. He said sure, he did them (including getting wine thrown onto his crotch by Maggit Man!), and so now he has a solo review forthcoming. Are you excited? His last solo review was that Star Wars special. I have no idea what he has planned and I’m 99% sure he has no idea right now either until I keep harassing him about it for months on end. Stay tuned.

As a little exclusive for reading this far I’ll let you in on a secret. The next few reviews will be, in no particular order: The Mummy, Mirror Mirror, Castle Freak (thanks go to Giancarlo for sending me this DVD!), and whatever Bruce has lined up. If you get bored of waiting for new reviews you can always watch back old stuff we’ve done, I mean we’ve been around for over five years now so chances are there’s stuff out there you’ve missed. May I take a moment to recommend three of my personal old school choices? Yes? Cheers, you are most kind, I hereby announce you a supreme ninja who wears Blue Jeans, sports a sexy tash, eats octopus (or is it octopi?) and you have my permission to buy drugs from a clown in an ice cream truck called Killjoy.

On a last note I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Mike Abbott. Who? He’s the ultimate ninja. Come on folks, get with the program. Man alive. I’ve spoke with Mike on the phone a few times but only recorded our last one for a Shitcase special. Sadly when it came to putting it together I discovered the audio quality was all over the shop. I was very pissed off but I did the best I could with what I had. The line wasn’t clear to start with, as it was a long distance call as Mike lives in Hong Kong but damn, I was annoyed hearing it back, hence why I typed out all of Mike’s speech for the video on Youtube. If you’ve not seen it please check it out, you have no idea how much time and effort went into this. Not only doing the video but also getting Mike to agree to a chat and have it broadcast for people (you lucky ones) to hear. He’s an ultimate ninja, so if you don’t check it out then he’ll ninja star you or something mental. Ninjas can do that. So I hear.

Well, I guess this brings us up to speed. We did a new Shitcast the other week. These videos are an exclusive for the Facebook members so if you’re not a member on there then join up as I usually post stuff on there which is only going to appear on there (unless fans decide to somehow put the stuff onto Youtube or wherever, which I wouldn’t object to). As always, thanks to everyone for their ongoing support, kind words and I hope we can continue to entertain, amuse or baffle you for some time to come.

All the best, John, 24th Feb, 2013