Hello. Johnny
Shitcase here. Obviously. I'm the only one who writes these awesome
blog updates so who else would you expect? I'm sorry to say this is
the first blog update in over a full year but I've not received any
demands for a new one so I don't feel too bad. I'll get over it. I
hope you will too, in time.
So what can I tell
you that's gone on in the past year in the Shitcase Cinema universe?
Lots, but I'll just mention a few bits and bobs as I'm too lazy to
write a long essay – you have to think on, I've not written an
update for over a year so I'm very rusty. I could have asked
Professor Bruce.... nah, I shouldn't make silly jokes like that.
Right, well, who
watched some of the most recent reviews like Battle Rats, Sharknado
and Death Run? I'm sure you all watched them being the loveable
hard core fan-base that you are. I haven't seen any of them, like most
of my friends and family, but I hear they're pretty darn brilliant.
Seriously though (for once) I have to say some of the most recent
reviews are some of my favourites in the past 7 years I've reviewed
films for Shitcase Cinema. I know that sounds like the obvious thing
to say, praising your latest work, but I really believe this.
From the Battle Rats review. The blood stained my face! |
Recently I've been
uploading photos and videos which are exclusive to the Facebook page.
I don't know how many views they each get – actually that's a lie,
as it tells me exactly how many people they've reached yet they only
get a handful of likes and even less comments. It's a bit frustrating
but then not everybody reads everything they see on Facebook feeds,
I'm no different myself. I'll keep on uploading bits and bobs, some
of it new material and some of it old that's never been seen before.
February saw
Shitcase Cinema turn 7 years old. That is more supreme than an
ultimate ninja if you ask me. I love the fact there are still two or
three fans still sticking by from those early days and for that I
thank you, you know who you are. Many of you have been fans for
perhaps 4 or 5 years which is, again, amazing. You may be a new
follower, having just found this blog update randomly in the
interwebs and wondering just what the hell this is. Who knows (a
quote from the Death Run review, just a pointless fact for you). Many
fans have disappeared over the years, I don't know the reasons why
but whatever. Zardoz has a grand plan in store for Shitcase Cinema,
I'm sure of this.
Apparently a fan saw
Professor Bruce in the flesh recently but didn't approach him. If any
of you happen to see me out and about do stop me to say howdy doody,
I won't charge you much for taking up my time. Maybe I'll even give
you Bruce's mobile number so you can prank him and wind him up as I
never see the old bean these days much so don't get the opportunity
to annoy him like I used to do. Speaking of, I have a video of
compilation clips of 'Bruce abuse' from over a few years of Shitcase
Cinema 'meetings' which I will upload at some point soon on the
Facebook page.
Wow, let's shoot
back to 6 months ago when it was just after Christmas 2014 and we
conducted a drunken live 'Shitcast' video.
Drunk and trying to do a live video chat. |
The other week I
uploaded a Q&A video with many, many questions from fans. Took a
long time to edit that beast together. Had fun answering them, hope
you enjoyed the answers. Maybe you just thought they were average?
Maybe it needed more Bruce? Stop whining, I got a small cameo in
there from Caveman Wayne, that took some work I'll have you know!
Even a legend like myself struggles to organise a 2 minute video
featuring myself, Bruce and Wayne. As for when a full feature length
'Interview with a Caveman 3' will happen, I can't say. If there is a
demand for it I'll try harder than I am already doing but if fans
aren't bothered than I can't be. I do silly videos like those to
amuse people and of course present Wayne to the masses as he amuses
me with his comments and views. I can happily keep him away from the
camera and just laugh at him myself. Laughing is good for your health
you know! Fact.
Oh yo, I know I made
a post about this late last year when about 5 people replied, but
I've been thinking about getting some new Shitcase Cinema t-shirts
printed up and sold myself. The current online store is expensive and
despite selling some stuff over the last 4 years on there or whatever
it is, I've not seen a single penny. It would be amazing to say I've
made a penny from my hobby and sell cheaper t-shirts than the online
store, so if there is a significant demand (anywhere in the world,
I'll send them wherever there are Shitcase fans) I'll get some
printed up, alright? Good.
What am I working on
currently aside from this blog update? Next years blog update, you
have no idea how much work goes into preparing these beasts! Erm,
movie review wise I have no idea. The reviews don't come as easily as
they used to. Maybe this is a good thing? I know fans want more
videos and I try my best but sometimes when I have the spare time I
just want to chill.
Just a note on the
Shitcase Facebook group – Group NOT page. Totally different. Long
story. Maybe. Any way, I do check the stuff on there still as it
always pops up in my news feed...in fact it's like 99% the only thing
that pops in there! I don't look after it any more and haven't done
for a while, there are a few people on there I trust to look after
and respect it. I know a lot of stupid crap gets posted on there all
too often like a thousand 'caption this' pictures or stuff that has
no relation to films, entertainment or Shitcase Cinema in the
slightest. This is the reason I stepped back from it as it was a pain
in the arse and became too much to maintain alone. I post all
official comments, opinions, photos and videos on the Page (not even
900 likes as of right now, I am pulling a very sad face right now).
So yeah, thanks for
reading this now annual update. Maybe in 2016 I'll give you something
to get excited about, but I think this is pretty cool bedtime
reading, so turn off your computer or whatever and get some sleep.
Shitcase Cinema will still be around in the morning and hopefully for
a good few years more with your support. Thanks as always. Now go
look for SUSAN, worship a giant floating stone head called ZARDOZ,
battle some NINJAS while on a DEATH RUN in a KINGDOM OF GLADIATORS,
while viewing a lovely SKYLINE all done on a Goddamn GRIM WEEKEND!
Until next time... John, 30th June 2015